mountainashes:

trying to make time-sensitive plans with someone who doesn’t text back quickly

image

(via cat-and-parrot)

1,275 notes | REBLOG

dippity-do-not-touch-me:

once my sister got rejected for a job at a web design company that she really wanted to work for so that night she hacked into their website and redirected it to her blog and the next day the CEO called her and hired her on the spot so moral of the story: if at first you don’t succeed, hack their website and make them beg for mercy 

(via cat-and-parrot)

chevvybar:

*uses “u” and “you” in the same sentence*

(Source: emaciatinq, via hotboyproblems)

vapooreon:

when you strip down naked in an elevator and u know everyone is checking you out

image

(via dutchster)

acrocalypse:

dream date:

take me to the mall

give me $2000 

leave

(Source: clivas, via distraction)

nokiabae:

my biggest fear is I’m married & my husband says, “let’s cut sugar out of our diet” so I have to leave with the kids in the middle of the night

(via rageagainstthechristine)